Heh. This is funny. I know it's a fact I'm scared as hell of posting to a Linux user forum or group. I always feel like an idiot.
Still. I loves the penguin.
SoOo. Linux is gay because:
[dm] I discovered that you'd never get an answer to a problem from Linux Gurus by asking. You have to troll in order for someone to help you with a Linux problem.
[dm] For example, I didn't know how to find files by contents and the man pages were way too confusing. What did I do? I knew from experience that if I just asked, I'd be told to read the man pages even though it was too hard for me.
[dm] Instead, I did what works. Trolling. By stating that Linux sucked because it was so hard to find a file compared to Windows, I got every self-described Linux Guru around the world coming to my aid.
[dm] They gave me examples after examples of different ways to do it. All this in order to prove to everyone that Linux was better.
* ion has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
[dm] brings a tear to my eye... :') so true..
[dm] So if you're starting out Linux, I advise you to use the same method as I did to get help. Start the sentence with "Linux is gay because it can't do XXX like Windows can". You will have PhDs running to tell you how to solve your problems.
[dm] this person must be a kindred spirit of mine
A N D . . . to show how much less painful it is to prove what an idiot you are, rather than ask for help on a n*x forum:
[Jon^D] I had to cat 8-9 seperate quote files, compare each line in each of them to make sure there weren't any duplicates then sort
[Jon^D] I wrote a nasty perl script to get it donw
[Jon^D] and it didn't work very well
[skank] cat quote*.txt |sort |uniq
He're a few more IRC classics:
[Malagmyr] This linguistics professor was lecturing the class.
[Malagmyr] "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative."
[Malagmyr] "However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
[Malagmyr] Immediately, a voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah..... right...."
[Elliotd123] How many members of a certain demographic does it take to screw in a light bulb?
[Elliotd123] A finite number. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.
[link] once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
[hokage] *cries*, scary....
[DmncAtrny] I will write on a huge cement block "BY ACCEPTING THIS BRICK THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, YOU ACCEPT IT AS IS AND AGREE TO MY DISCLAIMER OF ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS WELL AS DISCLAIMERS OF ALL LIABILITY, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL OR INCIDENTAL, THAT MAY ARISE FROM THE INSTALLATION OF THIS BRICK INTO YOUR BUILDING."
[DmncAtrny] And then hurl it through the window of a Sony officer
[DmncAtrny] and run like hell
[blazemore] omg i love this song
[blazemore] Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
[Javi] blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song
[daveemt]: WTF was that?
[JoePike]: I dunno. A copy of Hellen Kellers Twitter post?
[JoePike]: Yeah, hell will be warm
Progress (n.): The process through which the Internet has evolved from smart
people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals. [Beeth]
[|scar] Girlfriend pregnant error, [A]bort, [M]arry, [I]gnore ?
Mutiny) I'm talking to my mom online and she just said "i could use a good vibrator. i know you dont want to hear that but a woman has needs"
* Mutiny runs and washes his eyes out with bleach
They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
If it wasn't for C, we'd be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL. --Brinstar on efnet
'britney spears' is an anagram for 'presbyterians.'
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
[TeamsterX] man watching 6 MSCE's around a sun box, looks alot like the opening scene's of 2001:space odyssey and the monkey's with the monolith
[toot] Y2K isn't untill 2048
[toot] 1K = 1024
Finally, something else:
“. . .but a dying culture invariably exhibits rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than a riot. . .This symptom is especially serious in that an individual displaying it never thinks of it as a sign of ill health but as proof of his/her strength.” --Robert A. Heinlein